Taplow. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? So, as good as.

A self-described philosopher, poet and musician (read rockstar) he is also a sublime dancer. I’ve got stuff to do. Yes, we’ve spent hours trawling all three episodes of The Office in search the creme-de-la-creme of quotes to feature on this site.

People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: “you’re not fooling anyone”, they know I’m rock and roll through and through. If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn’t say Einstein, Newton…you know. You can find detailed synopses on Gareth Keenan, Tim Canterbury, Dawn Tinsley, Neil Godwin, Jennifer Taylor-Clarke, Chris Finch, Keith Bishop, Ricky Howard, and Simon the computer geek. Not the best of Brent’s work, but one way to keep the money rolling in I suppose. Once he’s done with Slough, he’ll move onto Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, Didcot, Yateley. Just click on one, at random.

Being at the beck and call of a man like David Brent can be trying and Dawn manages to navigate the challenges thrown her way albeit with difficulty.. I couldn’t do what…actually, I could do what they do, and I think they knew it back then.

Not my way. He probably does polish his own boots, but, you know, that doesn’t mean I have to do my own filing.” (Season 1, Episode 5), “An amateur will stitch up a professional.” (Season 2, Episode 1), “Some straight women like it the wrong way.

He’s in a home.

Rewind the clock and enjoy 21 of David Brent’s best quotes from The Office…, “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? He is charitable chap. And professionalism is…and that is what I want OK? Two of the most quotable men on the planet, David Brent and Donald Trump. He doesn’t polish … Well, Dad isn’t dead. You see the Brentmeister General is cult-like in our eyes, and because of this we’ve endured blood, sweat and tears to serve you up only the funniest David Brent Quotes. They’re looking in Oxford and Cambridge. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if you wanna stay.

He’s in a home. All the quotes are split out by season: Season 1, Season 2, and the Xmas Special.

Mouths to feed. Trust people and they’ll be true to you.

He’s a friend first, a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. That’s what I’m…you know. He is a renegade and unorthodox, and doesn’t play by, “The Rules”.

Ice-T. They’re the equivalent of Wordsworth. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great.

He’s the man at the top of the food chain. I haven’t got a sign on the door that says, ‘White people only’, you know? Fact. I’m sort of fused Flashdance with MC Hammer sh*t. Dr Dre, yeah. Yeah. – Ricky Gervais

Women are as filthy as men. It is only the degree to which these people are “brentified” that remains the question. I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett.

I’m like a spiritual guide. But he came to me and went, “Mr. Both of mine are dead. Dolly Parton. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English. Dr Dre, yeah. “Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're … Both of mine are dead. If someone’s unlucky, you go, “I’m not saying he’s unlucky, “but if he fell in a barrel full of tits, “he’d come up sucking his own thumb. There are “David Brent’s” in every facet of our lives.

The raison d’etre of this site is very much thanks to the man in the picture below. It could be a woman. This David Brent Quotes website has been founded to document the very best quotes and scenes from the entire Office series.

Ice T. They’re the equivalent of Wordsworth.” (Xmas Special, Part 1), (On Beethoven) “I don’t think he could have done better if he’d heard what he was playing, in my opinion.” (Xmas Special, Part 2). He’s generally considered to be the best. Tim: I live with my parents. Dawn Tinsley and David Brent. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Didn’t happen in the end. These pages cover off the most important attributes of each character, their interactions with other characters in the series, and more detail on who actor was behind the given character. And not because I’m in it, but because it degrades women which I hate.

Well, Dad isn’t dead. David Brent: Simply as the man who put a smile on the face of everyone he met. There’s a neighbour of mine, Kelvin. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of … The bad news is that Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your jobs.

We also included a few quotes from Life On The Road.

No, it’s not “The UK Office” or “The British Version”.

On a more positive note, the good news is, I've been promoted, so... every cloud. ... David Brent. David Brent: Cherish them. That’s actually what I do. David Brent: It could be worse.

[On Beethoven] I don’t think he could have done better if he’d heard what he was playing, in my opinion. It takes a little while. Two thousand, two hundred and thirty matches. One in 10, apparently. getreading. David Brent: Cherish them.

For us fans, he is all of the above and more. I know, gutting. He was rubbish. People say I’m the best boss. College boys. A great memorable quote from the The Office movie on Quotes.net - David Brent: Well, there's good news and bad news. “A sergeant major spends his time training his men to be killers. The world's defining voice in music and pop culture since 1952. All the quotes are split out by season: Season 1, Season 2, and the Xmas Special.

I can type in, say, ‘sex…fetish’.

That seems a bit high.

This site covers them all. He’s 32 and still lives with his parents. And people say she’s just a pair of tits.” (Season 2, Episode 6, “Can I ask you something?

The 12 episodes filmed over … And then it’s back…The good die young. Thanks for your time. I don’t give sh*tty jobs. In our eyes, there is only one office, and that is the original office. As Dawn is the office receptionist she also serves as David’s personal assistant. Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty…satisfaction. There is an entire section profiling all the main characters from The Office.


Not as good as Beethoven. Well I’m angry. Who printed this out for Joan? The Brentmeister General. Some might say he’s also a misogynist.

A man who has done five fun runs in two years and is mad enough without the gear. I don’t care if you’re black, brown, yellow – Orientals make very good workers, for example.

David Brent: It could be worse. You will miss them when they’re not around. After it was me who saved others from redundancy. You get the best out of us.’ And I go, you know, ‘C’est la vie.’ If that’s true – excellent. He’s also refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility. It’s brilliant. No. Not me in bed with another bloke called David.” (Season 2, Episode 6), “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain. The point is you talk the talk, but do not walk the walk, vis-a-vis you’ve not yet passed your forklift driver’s test. The only site on the web bringing you the very best hand-picked David Brent Quotes from all three seasons of the much revered television series, The Office. Can I ask you something? Not me. If you’re wondering what that meeting was just about in there…That’s it…I’ve been made redundant. It goes… [he starts singing] David Brent: I’m gonna roll you over, and rock you stupid, and leave you there just humming. An evangelist who’s spreading the word in Slough. My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by seventeen per cent…or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff.